Every divorce in California poses its own difficulties, but when children are involved, many parents struggle with how to help their kids deal with the family changes and feel secure. A common mistake is to overlook the importance of sitting down with your children to really discuss the divorce, making sure your children know they can ask anything and be open about their reactions. Psychotherapist Dr. Matthew Capezzuto sets out “Five Steps for Helping Children Cope with Divorce” in his RoadmapstoSuccess.com article, also explaining what a child goes through when parents break up. For example, Dr. Capezzuto warns you not to use your child as an “emotional surrogate,” in other words, don’t make your child your therapist. You can find more detail in Dr. Capezzuto’s article, but in general here are his guidelines for helping your kids get through the divorce:
- Make sure they know it is not their fault.
- Don’t talk negatively about the other parent.
- Schedule and maintain regular visitation no matter what.
- Allow and encourage them to talk about their emotions.
- Don’t use them as emotional surrogates.
Throughout the divorce, our lawyers are committed to keeping your children’s best interests at the forefront. If you and your spouse have minor children, key decisions regarding custody and visitation can often be resolved through either collaborative law or mediation. Both options allow you and your spouse to reach mutual agreement on many divorce issues outside of court. Not only can these approaches develop cooperation and better parenting arrangements after divorce, but collaborative law and mediation can also be more cost effective than traditional litigation. Divorce can be a complex process, but we’ll help you understand the issues, including child custody and visitation law. You’ll then be able to make the decisions that will be best for you and your family. Reach our family law attorneys at San Diego Law Firm by calling (619) 794-0243.
